February 14, 2005

Dad and I were on our way to Mass this morning. We talk often about the "olden days" and how we fell in love. He mentioned out of the blue, "I fell in love with you on the  phone, do you remember that?" I smiled and said I did. He said, "I got to know you on the phone, remember?" I asked him what we talked about and he said he would say, "Do you miss me?" and I would sigh and say I did. Then I would ask him if he missed me and he would say, "Oh, yes!"  

People never think older people were really ever in love but we were and are. Do you know how and when he asked me to marry him?  It was the anniversary of Ted's death. One year. Your father had been a great friend of Ted's and came to see him a lot after Helen left. Ted was very nice to him and had always liked Tom.  He was stunned to think she would leave HIM!  All of our friends could not believe it.

I actually did not like to be around Tom a lot because he was so terribly sad about the boys.   He was very weepy.  It was so hard--I could hardly bear it. However, Ted said I had to be nice to him and he liked having him come over. They were both engineers and had lots of the same interests. Tom would rub Ted's back as Ted had a lot of weakness from the nyphritis problems. He brought over a massage table Helen had left behind for a while and Ted would use it a lot and it was good for him. 

Tom worried about what Ted was eating and how he was feeling. When Ted was in the hospital he came in from Chicago every day to see Ted in Rockford. A little over an hour to drive. Anyway they were really best friends. Tom liked us as a couple because he said he always liked the way we hugged and how I would sit on Ted's lap. So funny now, isn't it?  

Well, the anniversary of Ted's death, Tom called to say he wanted to come to Rockford and we could go to dinner. When he arrived he had a huge bouquet of flowers to "take to the cemetary."  So we did just that. We took the three little boys out with us, of course. It was a dampish day and we sat on the ground by the tombstone and talked about the year. Ted's tombstone was one for Ted and Charlie.   It read, Theodore Roehm III, May 6, 1928 - August 4, 1959 and below that it said Father;  directly below that it said Charles Campbell Roehm, February 10, 1959 - April 11, 1959 and below that it said Son.  Charlie had died four months before Ted and we had him in a baby cemetary, but the day of Ted's burial we had Charlie taken up and put in the same grave.  It was so sad and I can remember it as though it were yesterday. Sometimes when I think of it I can hardly swallow.

So we sat at the cemetary and talked about that year and how fast and slowly it had gone. Just a lot of talking and the boys talked, too. Tim was almost 4 and Ted and Tom were 8 1/2. So we talked, read the names on the other tombstones, then came home. Tom went to get Mrs. Walgren, our perfect sitter, who came to feed the boys and I got showered and dressed for going to dinner.

We went to our favorite restaurant and had a lovely evening. We came home, Tom took Mrs. Walgren home and went back to Chicago.  

About an hour or so later he called, as he always did, and said, "You know, I have been thinking on the way home, why don't we just get married?"  I quickly said, "Okay!" Then, just as quickly I said, "When????" and he said, "When do you think?" I thought for a minute because we had never talked about this and then I said, "Hmmmmm how about October?" He said that would be perfect.  

Now that does not sound romantic but I can tell you it was the most romantic moment in my life. I felt like a knight on a white horse had come, grabbed me up in his arms and taken me off!  And do you know something? That is just what happened!"